Bardic Extrapolation (Rime of the Ancient Sponge)


I am currently mostly just playing with rabbits to procrastinate irl things I should really be doing
- words of wisdom from zml

Sponge - the Epic (part 37.902)

The card drawn was the Tower
With an IRC regroup in planning
MineBot went mad with power
Randomly Kicking and Banning

Heroes, each with valiant screed
Were slowly granted re-entry
Pockets empty, they have a need
To at last Invent the Inventory


Remember: failing + writing it down = science
- a math lesson from Saladoc

Don't Fix It

Namespaces and Stacktraces
Tying the servers in knots
Data in all the wrong places
Failures at random spots

1000+ lines of error spam
That gives no useful clue
Somehow Spongedev understand
Then push a PR through

SpongeAPI keeps expanding
Creating what you need
But if they ever 'Fix' Sponge
Then she will never breed


@Inscrutable you my sir are the poem of the centurium )


Stop calling everything FLARD
- an early SpongeDocs Issue from DarkArcana



The End


Why do they call them 'Odds' when half of them are even?

SPAM SPAM SPAM and Noodles

The environment needs enriching
For Modded magic we are yearning
Wand trigger fingers are itching
Thaumic enchantments we're learning
Meanwhile, deep in the kitchen
Zidane's noodles are burning

The meeting is called to order
Spongy developers returning
Discussing the bricks and mortar
Debating the logo and kerning
Someone, quick, fetch the water
Zidane's noodles are burning


Does Riemannian space let you walk in a straight line and a circle at the same time?

Inverse Artificial Intelligence

Better than the real thing
Artificial Intelligence
Pulling on the puppet-strings
Of our artificial agents

For bug-testing far and wide
There's something else we need
Let some clever devs provide
Artificial Stupidity


Thermal paste goes on your CPU, you're not supposed to eat it.
- sage culinary advice from Deamon

Purple Crater

Taint consumed my house
At least some consolation
'twas not FLARD this time


"The trouble with people who are always changing their mind is that they never seem to get one that works any better" -- Fozzie Bear

Sail Onward, Spongineers

The tidings are pleasant
We foresee our new present
As the wrappings begin to unravel

Though the edges be fray'd
This thing that we've made
Is almost ready to travel

One more SoS
Remains to impress
The uncertain and uninformed

One month to Sponge beta
We can't wait to meet her
When the final unveiling is performed


Are your parameters getting you down? Do you need livelier ones? Come on down and select your parameters from Uncle Wacko's free-range Parameter Farm, best prices in the demi-hemisphere

You Thor It Here First

Long ago in our blocky domain
Before lightning graced the sky
Silent stars and sullen rain
Were all the nights could supply

Then came raining bolts of fire
Occasionally accompanied by showers
Long we endured the raucous roar
Of apprentices testing magic powers

Rain and thunder, moans of undead
The incessant howling of Dogs
Night's cacophony sings us to bed
But at least it's not raining frogs


Some of these words were stolen from mbaxter, including, but not limited to, the, this, and and.

Is it working?

The plugin with no description
What to call this code mystery?
Vaguer, Non-descript+, Mehplugin
What could it do? Let us see...

Let this virtual lotus unfold
No external hooks or automation
A plugin that ignores the world
The ultimate Zen implementation


Acknowledgement is made to ryantheleach and TheHiggsBozo for the delightfully malevolent concept

Invisible Chickens

Savaged by an angry sheep
Pursued by wolves 'til half-dead
Every creature tries to leap
At the invisible chicken on my head

They could be lurking anywhere
Cupboards, chests, upon my horse
Riding the cat, or upon the stair
Always half-way up, of course

Ye shall only know of them by
Clucking noises when all is still
Occasional random egg supply
And when your cattle seek to kill


History is a pile of debris, left in the wake of the storm called progress

Sponge: The Epic - Part 42.663

They did it again, everything changed
Methods and madness met and fought
All of the labels have been re-arranged
Until each stray exception was caught

Merging and purging multifarious parts
Proving it's more than just dreaming
Left in the wake of these revisionist arts
Lay the poor data.entity.Screaming


Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The dinosaur has a valid case...

Dream Weaving

Some only ever dream their schemes
Others are far more tactical
Don't let your dreams stay merely dreams
Knit them into socks, it's far more practical


I deserve a cookie for giving you the idea.

Okay fine half a cookie.



Can I take the rest of the cookie


"That's me standing in fire that I placed." -- a gist postcard from gabizou

LANing Tower of Beta

Sponge Beta is coming, hold onto your hats
Built with blood, sweat and more caveats
Refined repeatedly in a maze full of rats
Stray bugs the developers fed to the cats
Spaghetti code all tied neatly in plaits
Come try out SpongeForge the server mod that's
Forge mod compatible, with nothing ersatz
Many new plugins to protect from the brats
To all in the Sponge Team, a hearty congrats
Now what's in the belfry, byakhee or bats?


How'd you like to be a Spongiferan Squire, a Protector of Pull Requests, an Inquisitor of Issues?
Would you like a seat with the Knights of the Porous Table? - Saladoc dragoons more staff

Quest for the Spongy Pail

We're Knights of the Porous Table
We quibble whenever we're able
We'll mend your schemes
With silent screams
And fix unstable tables
We help developers plan a lot
By interrupting SPAM a lot

We're Knights of the Porous Table
FLARD features in our fable
We'll turn your nonsense
Into words of consequence
In prose indefatigable
We like to merge and purge the docs
For standing still may rot your socks

{with apologies to Monty Python, and the rest of the universe}


It's only a model.




<Lain> .sponge: .mysuperawesomecommand "Necrodoom is super awesome"
-- the result of a typographical error by someone who shall remain anonymous

Discworldborder: A Modest Proposal

An ugly mesh of fencing
Keeps the world contained
But if players find a bypass
They are no longer so restrained

Try the ultimate world border
Where the terrain simply stops
Waters pouring into the void
From a hanging shelf of rocks

Players can build on outward
But the limit stays secure
They have to be constructive
To expand the border any more