inb4 Inscrutable posts a peom on the forums 
– Tzk
Cat-herder
Fail-safe feline redirection
The rare talent of cat herding
Inimical to common perception
Can be more than wishful wording
This very message can show you how:
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
Wear the armour of dharma and never fear karma – some portly dude
Layers of Layers
Hidden in a tiny house
inside a little shed
within a modest barn
enclosed in a keep
at the heart of a castle
in the centre of a city
surrounded by wilderness
Lies a tiny box
within a little bag
buried in a rucksack
stuffed into a chest
hidden in a cupboard
behind a hidden door
below a false stairway
The note inside says
OUT OF MEMORY ERROR
o happy FLARD channel rejoice
Is Not
FLARD is not safe FLARD is virulent
FLARD is not wise FLARD is random
FLARD has no meaning FLARD is redolent
FLARD is not sane FLARD is freedom
FLARD is not here FLARD is there
FLARD is not hers FLARD is not his
FLARD is impassive FLARD does not care
FLARD is not FLARD oh wait it is
If everything worked as expected, people would never discover anything new
Something Happened
For want of a Token, the Forum was broken
As the web-tech-rats scurry to repair
Maybe it’s chokin’ on whatever they’re smokin’
In the government office up the stair
Prithee, do join the poriferan circle and raise a toast to her squishiness!
Sponge: The Epic - Part 47.202
Code-warriors advance on their goal
Finding the fonts of frustration
Shaking the tree to see what will fall
Breaking and remaking teleportation
Battles with threads go 'til morning
Coffee dwindles as repositories inflame
If it breaks there’s an elegant warning
So those still awake know who to blame
Fixing glitches and priming the timing
Playing code whack-a-mole now and then
Ever upward the hill they’re climbing
Over the rise rears the head of 1.10
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day – PBlock96
Transcendental Sponge
Let’s assume that SpongeAPI’s range
Is the product of unpredictable change
An indefinite army of spongineers their genesis
We informally define as a result
The probability that Sponge will halt
This chance may be called Spongie’s Nemesis
This real number (though not irrefutable)
Is Transcendental and thus not computable
We have no means to even guess the numbering
A form of Chaitin’s Constant employed
Weird transcendent creatures fill the void
Outside the computable realm we work within
Is 403 an auspicious number?
The Dance of SOS XI
Prepare your pants
for the vigorous dance
we all call SOS
Sponge is revealed
with nothing concealed
not even a flimsy dress
The Steganographer General has certified this message
Sponge: The Epic - Part 48.960
Approaching the latest Minecraft at last
Choking up Twitch with the chatter
Eleven States of Sponge have now passed
Far more than conventional matter
This roaming road of development
May sometimes seem steep or bumpy
If stuck you can always sleep on it
Although it might be a little lumpy
“This is definitely fact and not just bollocks that I made up” – Mumfrey
The Herobrine Conspiracy
Lurking within the code unseen
Like some long-forgotten dream
Woven deftly into the theme
Herobrine remains
Built from JVM byte waste
Loaded into the buffer space
A steganographic interface
Like spare brains
Leveraging memory management
Their patterns are subtly bent
Unloaded class fragments are sent
To build new code
Files in shaded permgen space
Assemble in-game and activate
Via buffer overflow they create
Making classes load
Obfuscation hides his persistence
Mods disrupt his fragile existence
Re-Moved, not Removed, the difference
Concealed in shadows
“Pole Fire” is a very satisfactory explanation for a power outage.
Fleeting Q+NA
I came I saw I queried
Just to follow the form
Context will be buried
The conversation norm
The real reason I am here
Is to deploy the art of wit
Then rapidly disappear
Why wait when you can Quit
Welcome to the Forest of DO NOT READ THIS SIGN
Debug Mantra #88
Is it really an
Emergent Behaviour
If it self-destructs?
“Using java is basically using a nuclear-powered Yamato cannon to crack a nut” – Mumfrey
Ubiquitous and Inescapable
The FLARD has seeped in deep
They cannot wring it out
Inoculated and let to steep
Sponge’s secret grout
Making the impossible work
Defying logic and sense
In-between the seams it’ll lurk
FLARD balanced on the fence
If SpongeAPI were perfect
It’d spontaneously rearrange
Dead code may even resurrect
The spirit of FLARD is change
We’re off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of [unsupported application]
Sponge: The Epic - Part 48.657
Shoes wearing thin, fingers gnarled
Pulling against the buggy undertow
Struggling to set the rigging unsnarled
The campaign to hoist banner 5.0
Inveigled by various aliases unkind
They take on the dreaded Sponge Witch
This fearsome battle will - oh, never mind…
As you were, it’s only the sponge which
Double density lifestyle: live life two days at a time
Villager Exodus
There’s trouble in the rubble
For the rabble have a shovel
The insurrection detectable
By the jeering in the cheering
Refusing to remain contained
Insistently expanding range
Desiring to become estranged
From the safe ground of the town
Disappearing into the black
Each wanders a different track
I expect they’ll soon come back
Drooling, moaning and groaning
If “Actually Real” is a valid category, so is “Preposterously Real”
Discuss Discourse on Discord
The editors lounge collects slack
From the too-many issues to track
Some may say eh?
The regulars meh
Nonetheless they keep coming back
Inscrutable’s true identity is revealed;
“he” is actually just a room full of monkeys with typewriters – lukegb
Secret Identity
It could be that all programs are created
By a room full of monkeys with typewriters
Thus it may logically be anticipated
That rogue bananas may come back to bite us
Think or Thwim.
Pauses for Causes
An egg creates a chicken
That sets a counter ticking
Which triggers a hidden powder keg
Those surviving the carnage
Seek causes for the damage
Do we blame the chicken or the egg?
The meeting of Apathetics Anonymous has been cancelled due to lack of interest
Opposites Meet
What’s On-Topic for Off-Topic?
The multitudes are wondering
Will anything random do the trick
Or even mis-posted blundering?
Can Off-Topic posts even exist
In this mysterious written nether?
Poems, polemics, a shopping list
All possible subjects it will weather
Perhaps this very composition
Betrays these implicit rules
On- and Off-Topic by definition
Made just to annoy pedantic fools
